The power of a Thank You

Buki Olabiran

I was invited to a school sometime ago and immediately I stepped in, I remembered the American film ‘Lean on me.’ I was a bit uncertain about where to start my assessment and recommendations from. The attitude and character of the students were nothing to write home about. Insolence and mischief were in the air. I summoned the courage and started slowly but surely.
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One of the first things we dealt with was the power of positive thanking. I was amazed that despite the fact that kids expressed the magic words of please and thank you sincerely, the teenagers stretched the word p-l-e-a-s-e to express rudeness. If children could exhibit correct behaviour, then at what point did they lose it as teenagers or adults?

From teenagers to even adults (married men and women alike), some of us do not feel the need to use the word please or thank you for the younger ones. Just like our African culture, we believe that it is the younger that should accord respect to the older. Regardless of age, class or status, something that I know is that respect is reciprocal.

The interactive discussion I had with the students was disturbing about what they said concerning their parents and guardians as regards courtesies. Most of the pre-teens and teenagers said that their parents would send them on errands without saying please, and when they returned from such errands, they never received thank you.

Good manners are not just for children, but also for adults. There is no end to learning manners. An adult should never think that he is a dry fish, and any attempt to unbend him will just break him up. We are very flexible and should therefore be able to accommodate whatever change that we desire.

No one is ever too old, too mature or too young to express true kindness and appreciation. No matter what progress we make in life, whether at home or at work, we get assistance from people in doing our job. And a job well done means we need to look around us and see who made it possible. It could be our children, spouses, parents, siblings, domestic assistants, drivers, secretaries, security personnel, etc.

That means the more people there are who helps us to achieve our goals, the more we have to let them know they are appreciated for what they do. They are part of the team and if they don’t feel recognized, we are the ones who will suffer when their enthusiasm for work goes down. The unfriendly boss or father who is too busy to see how hard everyone else is working should know that it is just a matter of time before his team loses enthusiasm.

To be appreciated is one of the greatest needs of human beings. It is also a sure way to boost and harness self esteem. Showing gratitude demonstrates that we value courtesy and good manners. Saying thank you for something we have received, no matter how small is a great way to communicate. It promotes good health and a successful lifestyle. Extending common courtesy to others demonstrates maturity and a healthy self-esteem.

Every day we are presented with situations that allow us to show common courtesy and consideration to others. It is necessary to be proactive and take advantage of every opportunity to be cordial. Think about how it feels when someone is rude to you or insults you. It sure doesn’t have a pleasant feeling. It is best to concentrate on creating pleasant and agreeable experiences for everyone who interacts with us.

Being courteous comes not from the head but from the heart. If your actions do not match your words, then your efforts will be in vain.

I would like to encourage everyone to never under-estimate the power of a THANK YOU. Appreciate each person you meet even if it is only with eye contact, a nod or smile. Take time to acknowledge and extend courtesy to someone today.

Questions and Answers

Which is the best way to cross the legs in public? Is it the right leg over the left or left over the right?

It is proper to cross the legs either by placing the right leg over the left leg or vice versa. There are some factors to put into consideration before crossing the legs. If there is someone seated to your left, then you can cross the left leg over the right, and if there is someone seated to your right side, then courtesy demand that you cross over the left. However, if you have people seating on both your right and left sides, then you should cross in such a way that you will not hit anybody with your legs. The rule of the thumb for crossing the legs especially for women is that they should cross their legs at the knee only if their attire is trousers. But if the attire is a dress or a skirt, it is advisable to cross only at the ankle.

When you are served a plate of food with a tray, do you eat the food from the tray or do you remove it from the tray before eating? If the latter is yes, where should the tray be kept?

It is in order to remove the food and drinks from the tray before eating or before having a drink. A tray as the name implies is a serving tray and not an eating tray. But sometimes, the person that serves with a tray does not know whether the tray should be removed or not, and the person that is served sometimes too does not know whether the food should be eaten from the tray or not. But because you know better, you can immediately request for the food or drinks to be removed from the tray. That way, the server can take the tray away. But if a server places the food on the table with the tray and leaves, you can eat the way you are served knowing full well that you would not leave food and drinks in the tray when you are serving your own guest. It could sound rude when you correct people in public about proper conduct, just to show that you know better.